Birth Stories: Laboring Over Sid

I gave birth at home to our second child, a 9-1/2 lb boy with a 15" head. The latter statistic would have had no special significance for me, had not our midwife marveled over the measure (as I lay in a stupor in the post-birth bed). I pick up on the little things.

I would still be basking over my birthing achievement but for one 14 lb infant delivered to a family in Kentucky a few days later. Unless their child's head was unnaturally tiny, I had to concede that my Sid's cranium likely paled in comparison.

Obsessing over how one's labor compares to the all-time best (or worst) recounting of the experience, I think, is an inevitable part of the pre-baby package. Not to discount the fact that each of my labors produced a healthy bouncing baby boy, I rated and continue to rate my first hospital birth experience as extremely sucky.

I was sitting in a birth story forum with several other new mothers (months before Sid was conceived) when I determined that Laurie Fremgen would deliver our second child should I ever find myself expectant again. It was just one mother's story that convinced me.

By choosing a home birth, I knew I was on my way to the easy expedited labors of my mom and sister. This was not entirely the case.

Labor roused me at 2 am. I excitedly started and finished the ironing (no small accomplishment) then called Laurie as the window between contractions shortened. She advised me kindly to call back when it got more serious.

I called my husband home from work. He called Laurie and was able to convey my utter gravity with respect to my contractions. The midwife team (Laurie with Meredith as back-up and Liz as apprentice) arrived at about 4 am. I was relieved. I felt giddy and emotional at the prospect of our midwife catching my baby whom I expected to arrive at any moment...

The sun rose and with it my first son rose — quelling my wish for a quiet early morning birth.

With some disappointment, I went with the change. I didn't have much choice in the matter. It was like being on a thrill kill ride at an amusement park. Once the safety bar locks down, you are in it for the duration. Time doggedly dragged on. I stopped being concerned about the time. Laurie periodically assured me that I was progressing nicely. I was skeptical.

Sid arrived in the heart of a hot Austin afternoon. I was exhausted and dumbfounded at the sheer effort it took to bring a baby into the world. Had it not been for Laurie's encouragement, I would have given up. Meredith's resoluteness, I would have checked out. Liz's kindness, I would have quit. And my son would have been brought into the world like his brother before him at a hospital by overworked staff who, by the dictates of economic necessity, run the Labor and Delivery ward like a production line.

Instead I had a sweet refrain telling me over and over, "you can do it, Barbara." After a while, you begin to believe.

(My husband caught the baby and cut the cord.)

Barbara Frische

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